first they came for...

thoughts on women's history month during the current political climate

currently —

• reading: on girlhood, an anthology of short stories from black female authors; to be young, gifted, and black, lorraine hansberry in her own words; the love affairs of nathaniel p, a book a man recommended while on a date (which makes it all the more hilarious bc it was our last date)

• watching: still fangirling over that latest episode of severance + abbott elementary

• viewing: harmony and dissonance at the guggenheim

• eating: rigor hill’s harissa carrots (trust me - the grapes make the dish)

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
- Maya Angelou, Still I Rise

A few weeks ago I did something I never thought was possible: I resigned my lease.

This seemingly innocuous administrative procedure, in which my landlord slipped a thin envelope of papers for me to sign under my door, was a huge milestone for me. Ever since I left for college in 2013, I have moved every single year - sometimes multiple times - ranging from suburban Chicago to Berlin for a semester abroad, a brief stint in Panama City, and enough time in Vancouver to become a Canadian Permanent Resident. Nothing has felt quite as good as coming home after a long day than opening my door and seeing everything just as I left it. Yet one year in I am now having to confront that this newfound freedom, this dream, this hope, is also seen as a threat.

home :)

My ability to financially provide for myself, to live alone in an expensive city, challenges traditional gender norms and assumptions that even the most self-professed “liberal” man might find intimidating. It also represents a type of progress conservatives are actively challenging. Although we still haven’t achieved pay parity, financial opportunities for women have significantly improved over the last fifty years. Some of my mother’s earliest memories are of her aunts coming to her house every Friday to deposit money in a safe my great-grandmother kept in a closet. My great-aunts squirreled away money as an insurance policy, a safety net should anything turn south with the men in their lives. This was a reality thousands of women had to confront because up until 1974’s Equal Credit Opportunity Act, women weren’t able to open their bank accounts or lines of credit without a man’s permission.

Women on average still earn less than men, but in major metropolitan areas, the disparities are shrinking. As of 2019, women under 30 working full-time earned 102% more than men in the New York and Washington metro areas. To be clear, there are still stark disparities and challenges women face but to look at how far women - especially women of color - have come compared to fifty years ago is to understand that we are at a unique period of human history, one that this current administration is going to great lengths to end. Make no mistake, efforts to end “woke” DEI are not limited to race-based affirmative actions or transgender participation in youth sports. It is also a direct attack on women, and we are already starting to see its impacts one month into the new administration.

The federal government doesn’t oversee curriculums at the state or local level (yet) but it does provide education to children on military bases in the US and abroad through the Department of Defense. Over the last month, not only were Pride clubs and Black History Month celebrations abruptly canceled or toned down, but a Women in STEM group was also put on hold. While nothing about this administration should surprise us at this point - especially after Friday’s recent pro-Russia shouting match between Trump, Vice President Vance, and Ukrainian President Zolenskyy - it’s worth tracing why this attack on education goes beyond race and sexuality to target women more broadly.

The last time men and women attended college at the same rate was in 1995, the year after I was born.

In the thirty years since women now make up over sixty percent of college students at both two- and four-year colleges. These numbers are staggering, particularly when we consider that the majority of college campuses weren’t even co-ed until the 1970s. There are several reasons for why this has happened, ranging from the way girls and boys are socialized at a young age and how that impacts applying for college - some universities, like Bayor, have resorted to initiatives like “males and moms,” a communication campaign to help rising male seniors make sure their applications are turned in on time - to federal actions like Title IX.

columbia college’s commencement ceremony for its first co-ed class - in 1987.

Perhaps the biggest reason, though, is that our economy has moved from manual labor, like manufacturing, to the creative and service economy. These “jobs of the future” are more likely to require additional education versus simply graduating from high school and showing up at a factory to receive on-the-job training the next day. Our country has also seen an expansion of rights for both women and non-white Americans, who have eagerly seized opportunities once unavailable to them. In a 2021 survey asking people without a bachelor’s why they didn’t, men were almost 10 points more likely to say “they didn’t want to” than women, whose largest reason was that they couldn’t afford it.

Earnings for non-college-educated men have fallen by twenty percent over the last few decades, while they have risen for non-college-educated women. College-educated men—especially white men—still have clear prospects, but the working class is increasingly feeling “shut out” of job opportunities that now seem to favor an educated class of liberals, people of color, and women. White men, in particular, see others succeeding in this economy but aren’t willing or able to understand why. 

Women’s improved economic mobility through educational opportunities has changed the motivations for marriage.

Declining outcomes for men create a perceived shortage of “marriageable” partners. A woman would rather stay single and shoulder the economic burden of this economy alone than stay with a man who is not contributing emotionally or financially to their relationship. There are still financial incentives for marriage, especially when thinking about combining resources in this current economy. However, the group most likely to marry in our current society is the college-educated, not the working class, further accelerating our country’s socioeconomic divide. For many, marriage is no longer a necessity in the same way it has historically functioned. Women are now asking - what value do men bring? - and are deciding to opt-out, either willingly or begrudgingly, as a way to “protect their peace.”

@sheiscelesteeEvery woman should experience living alone. #livingalone #livingalonediaries #livingalonevlog #loft

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A certain type of single man might look at women and feel like the social agreement that has existed throughout history - women provide our bodies, our labor, our emotional support in exchange for a man’s financial support and protection - is no longer working.

Enter the incel.

Online communities like 4chan have given lonely men a platform to complain about recent societal changes. Social media has also made misogyny more visible - both to like-minded men, further reinforcing their opinions, but also to women, who are now able to see how men talk about them. Technological advances have also allowed women to share their experiences online, providing a space for some women to talk openly about their struggles with dating and leaving some to consider celibacy. This creates a cycle where women become more disgusted and pull back from dating, which reinforces these men’s misogynistic and warped views on why no one will date them.

Conservatives understand the power of culture. If you don’t like the narrative, change it. Play to men’s insecurities by creating a boogeyman, how liberals, immigrants, the tap water - whatever - is the reason why you’re not getting laid or making enough money. Play into the powerful emotion of fear. Create and promote figures who affirm your feelings. Translate those online forums to offline communities where they can become further radicalized by right-wing content. And make being submissive look good so that women are put “back in their place,” which is having babies.

Elon Musk, one of the most powerful men in the world right now, is a pronatalist. He is joined by others in the Silicon Valley crowd who have raised fears about the predicted demographic collapse within this century because people are having fewer children, meaning the world will have fewer workers (and consumers). Increased access to education, contraception and legal protections in the workplace have all contributed to lower birth rates around much of the world. This projected demographic decline has led to a strange marriage over the last few years between the tech world and Christian evangelicals, who have similar goals but a slightly different ideology. Their conservative ideas are spread through cultural propaganda on social media platforms. Some of it is obvious, like trad wives, but others are slightly more subtle, such as the recent focus on finding your “feminine” energy while dating.

With Trump back in office, pronatalists and evangelicals now have the political capital they need to begin advancing their agenda. These people are proposing policies straight out of The Handmaid’s Tale and are now in positions to try and enact them. Except this isn’t a book, this is our reality. Sean Duffy, the new Director of the Department of Transportation, wants funding tied to high-birth states. Techno-Puritans Simone and Malcolm Collins - pronatalists with connections to Vance and Peter Thiel - “joke” about wanting to create a birth task force. Each of these groups talks about wanting to raise the birth rate, but without providing the necessary economic support that would keep women in the workplace, like daycare subsidies or affordable housing.

Take these people at their word.

Even if some ideas are outlandish and likely won’t happen, the sentiment is clear: making America great again means reducing women back to subservient, docile roles. We have seen this play out before roughly a century ago. Trad wives of today aren’t that far away from the “Kinder, Küche, Kirche” (children, kitchen, church) propaganda of Nazi Germany.

Delusional optimism, this belief that it is “not that serious yet” does nothing but reduce our window of time to take action. Roe v. Wade was supposedly the law of the land - until it wasn’t. Now is the time to start talking about these issues with others, especially if you have brothers, male friends, or partners. It is also important to speak up and stand with women who might not have the privilege or platform to reach a larger audience. And to also stand with other marginalized groups. There are other identities at risk, some of which are already facing harassment, discrimination, and the reversal of rights. Just because you are safe today doesn’t mean you will be tomorrow.

Finally, prioritize community. This is a word that gets tossed around flippantly now but at its core, I believe it is about finding like-minded people that are physically proximate to you. Yes, there is something special about online communities, but as we briefly saw in January, there is no guarantee those spaces will exist indefinitely.

from the frontlines of the netwar

Building community can take a variety of forms, whether that is intentionally meeting with a group of existing friends each week or month as a way to maintain connection, to joining a book club, regularly attending programming at a library, or simply making an effort to get to know your neighbors more. In the year since I moved in, I’ve had the opportunity to not only get to know all of the other people in the building I live in but also a few of my neighbors on the block. It can start as simply as waving or perhaps saying hello during a nice day outside.

There is a quiet power in briefly acknowledging someone’s humanity. It is something we will need now more than ever.